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  #41  
Old 19th September 2017, 06:47 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

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pipbarber said View Post
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knowledge is power said View Post
He saw a hole... that's enough for some guys.
I'm skeptical about that analysis. Why couldn't someone have an intense attraction to gym equipment? It's just a form of object sexuality. I know it's funny and all, and if it is the case that this guy is really hot for gym equipment, well...i hope he can laugh about it too - because sexuality, in every consensual form it takes, is hilarious.

NB - object sexuality does not require consent. (unless the owner of the object has an issue, i guess)

This was on a gym wall. Possibly relevant.
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  #42  
Old 19th September 2017, 07:03 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

Look, I like men. A lot.
But boys, could you please stop putting your penis into things that were never meant to have penis in them.
Like bottles, and wrenches, and yes, gym equipment.
Just google "men get penis stuck in stuff"
You'll see what I mean.
Go on you know you want to.


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  #43  
Old 19th September 2017, 08:07 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

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Mjt said View Post
Look, I like men. A lot.
But boys, could you please stop putting your penis into things that were never meant to have penis in them.
Like bottles, and wrenches, and yes, gym equipment.
Just google "men get penis stuck in stuff"
You'll see what I mean.
Go on you know you want to.


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I wont be googling that because i believe the fish more than whatever google might give me. And also i just don't want to google that.
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  #44  
Old 19th September 2017, 08:22 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

Quote:
pipbarber said View Post
Quote:
Mjt said View Post
Look, I like men. A lot.
But boys, could you please stop putting your penis into things that were never meant to have penis in them.
Like bottles, and wrenches, and yes, gym equipment.
Just google "men get penis stuck in stuff"
You'll see what I mean.
Go on you know you want to.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I wont be googling that because i believe the fish more than whatever google might give me. And also i just don't want to google that.
You'd think that was the lot,
But, sad to say, it's not:
The Google sings
Of many things
Lodged in some eejit's bot!
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  #45  
Old 19th September 2017, 08:54 PM
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Suffer In Yer Jocks Dept

Quote:
A charity climber developed hypothermia when he tackled Snowdon wearing just his underpants.

19-year-old Nathan French wore Superman underwear when he climbed the mountain - the highest peak in England and Wales - in aid of a dementia charity, the Daily Telegraph reports.

He became unwell because of the cold and required medical treatment. Now mountain rescuers are urging other climbers to make sure they wear appropriate clothes.

Phil Benbow, of North Wales Mountain Rescue Association, told the BBC that a "significant number" of calls were received each year from people who are not equipped properly.

"They make an assumption that because there's a cafe at the top and a train, that it's a walk in the park. It's not - it is the highest mountain in England and Wales and people need to respect that.
Quote:
Mr French said he was surprised by "how cold I got".

"I was shaking uncontrollably and they covered me in tin foil," he said.
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  #46  
Old 19th September 2017, 09:05 PM
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...but why, MrB, did he bother with the underpants?
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  #47  
Old 19th September 2017, 09:08 PM
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...but why, MrB, did he bother with the underpants?
Ironically, I think he needed some clothing so he could guarantee a bit of exposure.
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  #48  
Old 21st September 2017, 09:32 AM
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CANADA: Bummer Of A Business Plan

Quote:
Most guys are trying to get out of the notorious Ottawa jail, but not young Damian O’Reilly.

He was actually pretty desperate to get inside the Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre after hatching a drug-smuggling plot that would see marijuana sold to inmates for 10 times its street value.

All he had to do was find a crack in the system, some sure-fire way of getting arrested and jailed.

And it had to be quick, for O’Reilly, 20, had “hooped” not one, not two, but eight Kinder Surprise eggs filled with marijuana, tobacco, matches and rolling papers before setting out to get arrested on June 19, 2016.

The Italian chocolate egg treat that comes with a toy inside (assembly required) is one of the most popular ways of smuggling contraband into Canadian jails. The yolk-coloured plastic capsule that holds the surprise toy is thin and flexible, making it easier to ‘hoop’ — a jail term for inserting contraband into your rectum.


O’Reilly figured the quickest way to get arrested would be to throw a rock at a police cruiser in front of the courthouse and, sure enough, he got the job done in minutes flat. It helped that he was already on probation, so when he was arrested, he was held for bail and shipped off to the old Innes Road jail.

And that’s where his plot unravelled.

It’s not known if the guard noticed O’Reilly was in some discomfort but whatever the reason, the guard had suspicions that O’Reilly might be smuggling drugs. The young inmate was escorted to dry cell No. 9. A dry cell has no plumbing and guards will either attempt to seize the contraband or wait for it to be expelled.

In this case, it was O’Reilly himself who, once alone in the dry cell, removed eight Kinder Surprise eggs from his rectum. A guard had to then collect the eggs and photograph them before securing them inside the Ottawa police drug safe at the jail.

In all, the eight eggs contained 59 grams of marijuana, a gram of MDMA, tobacco, rolling papers and matches.

SNIP

O’Reilly’s hooping of eight Kinder Surprise eggs is believed to be a record in criminal defence and jailhouse circles, with the closest recorded feat coming in at just four eggs back in 2010.
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  #49  
Old 30th September 2017, 10:12 PM
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Nominative Determinism?

Quote:
PHOENIX — An Arizona man was hospitalized after surviving a rattlesnake bite to the face while trying to show off to friends at a party by attempting to cook the reptile on a barbecue grill.

Victor Pratt, 48, was bitten Sept. 7. He was first treated at a hospital near his Coolidge, Ariz., home and then transferred to Banner-University Medical Center in Phoenix. Coolidge is nearly 60 miles southeast of Phoenix.

While celebrating his child's birthday with friends, Pratt said he decided to show them how to catch and cook a rattlesnake after one of the reptiles showed up in his yard during the party.

Pratt, who was interviewed Friday, grabbed the venomous snake and was showing it off to friends and family, posing for several photos. But he lost his grip on the snake's head, and it attacked him.

After being bit twice, once on the chest and once on the face, Pratt said he knew immediately that something was wrong, having been bitten once before when he was 19.

"I said, 'We gotta go now,' because I knew what was going to happen," Pratt said.

He was taken immediately to a local hospital, which doctors said saved his life. He also has received doses of antivenom.

"If an airway is not established in the first few minutes, in our experience less than 15 to 30 minutes, then those patients really don't have a chance to survive,'' said Dr. Steven Curry, Banner hospital's toxicology director.

Curry said getting a tube inserted into the patient's airway is vital, especially in face bites.
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  #50  
Old 1st October 2017, 09:43 AM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

I hope he was ok.








The snake I mean.
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