Editorial appearing in a Rome newspaper, The Roman Times, circa 100CE.
(Amazing discovery at the bottom of an archaeologically excavated early Christian outhouse)
(Due to unidentified staining, the translations may not be totally accurate)

15th December 07

Friends, Romans and countrypersons.

We, the followers of ancient and timeless traditions based on fact, are more than somewhat miffed at one of the new cults on the block. Christianity is attempting to take control of the celebration of Saturnalia. The followers of a mythical messiah have hijacked the life-story of our beloved god incarnate, Mithra, for their own perverted mind-manipulation of a minority of the gullible citizenry.

Mithra is the real redeemer of sins, whose promise is the resurrection of the body after death. As is well known, he was born of a virgin on December the 25th. Shepherds announced his birth. He ate with his disciples and then ascended into heaven. The Christians have stolen and slightly altered this historical occurrence, as have other cultures in the region.

The Egyptian infidels foolishly follow the imaginary god, Horus, born of the virgin Isis, as the saviour of humankind, so they tell. The Greeks say their virgin goddess, Kore, gave birth to Dionysus, also known as Ies or Jesus. These copycat myths and others that abound are a danger to the cohesiveness of our Empire, society and the family unit. They must be curtailed.

If we are to retain the real reason for the winter solstice celebration of dies natalis solis invicti, (birthday of the invincible sun) all the other pretenders need exposing for the frauds they are. The lion’s share of the work in foiling these impostors lies with those rightfully accepting Mithra as the one true god.

It is comforting to know that Mithra has always been with us, and will be, long after these other atheistic trouble-making zealots with their false gods have disappeared into the mists of time.

Justus Stupidibus
The Roman Times