After considerable deliberation the Committee of the Atheist Foundation of Australia Inc voted that the annual prestigious Grossly Outlandish Deficiency Award, be presented to Roslyn Phillips, ‘Research Officer for the Festival of Light’.

This last year made available such a plethora of contenders, all promoting unsubstantiated vacuous nonsense, that the Committee very nearly concluded the award should be one in common to a number of irrepressible ‘faith’ pushers. There was Pat Robertson and his hysterical demand that the USA assassinate Hugo Chavez, Brendan Nelson catholically promoting ‘intelligent design’, Pope Benedict XVI continuing the traditional religious anti homosexual rant and so many other deserving recipients, that the Committee decided to look at the grassroots level of religion.

The excitement built to a crescendo as names and mumbo jumbo organisations flew around the room, all competing to be the lucky one. Hillsong, Peter Costello, Little Pebble, Peter Notere, a variety of Bishops and Archbishops, more Politicians than is healthy for a vibrant democracy and even State Education Ministers for allowing fundamentalism to infiltrate the State schools system.

Suddenly, miraculously, as though by divine intervention, the name Roslyn Phillips lifted itself above the others and a cry in unison of agreement accepted the nomination. Lo and behold, Adelaide town had its own notorious retrograde thinker. Invisible as Roslyn Phillips seems, all present recognised her continuous attempts at muddying the waters on many important social issues. Abysmally erroneous Voluntary Euthanasia, pro-choice and sex education proclamations on behalf of the ‘Festival of Light’ have been, over many years, her flagship trademarks. It was time to send forth the white smoke.

Once again, as is usual with this award, it having no substance and being ethereal in nature, in line with religious convention, this should pose no problem to the beneficiary.